Today, as I discovered, is the International Day of Men. Not only does it appear to me as a good opportunity to spare a thought for all those guys who are not in the public eye or leading the world or making fortunes, that is the men you see every morning on the bus, the “anonymous” guys who keep the world spinning for their families and friends, the “average Joes” who look after their kids and wives or just pursue their studies or do whatever else, but it is also the perfect moment for me personally to stop for a minute or two and think about the most important men in my own life.
These are four men who mean incredibly much for me for different reasons. They are the four guys who have made me who I am today. Each of them has had his own share in whom I was to become years after they had come into my life. Each of these guys has made me the sister that I am today, the woman and friend I am today, the partner I might become one day.
They have made me feel not only being cared for, but they have taught me a bit of their kindness, they have instilled some of their values in me, they have often showed me how to look at things from a different perspective.
One of them must have been the first person I have ever looked up to as I was unconsciously trying to imitate his behavior in many ways – he was my first role model. I wanted to be like him and from this I have been left with the cheeky, naughty jokes or comments I now make at times and that probably make people feel like I am not delicate enough for a girl. I have had him as the first masculine figure in my life, a boy too young to protect me and show me how to act around men so from this I was left thinking I should never expect a man to look after me and that I should try to do everything on my own and support myself the best way I can. I have also seen myself privileged at his expense because I was the youngest, but this has taught me men can suffer as well, that what is unfair for a woman is unfair for a man as well. It has also taught me never to oppress men and to try to understand them and comfort them as best as I can.
These men have also taught me that moderation is the first thing needed when you analyze any kind of situation you are. They have made me realize that my sex sometimes makes such an incredible waste of words, whereas true wit only expresses itself after thorough judgment.
It is no trifle to have seen someone grow from a little girl into a woman. I am grateful I have met someone who chose to do this themselves, without the implication of any sort of family ties. But I am even more grateful I have met someone who has kept their confidence in me even when I had lost it.
And yet the most important lesson these men taught me is the lesson of love. I have learned what I should never do again to the man next to me, I have learned what I can or should do to make someone feel like they are not alone, I have learned that with some men, I feel entirely willing to sometimes give up my desires just to make sure theirs are turning into reality.
These guys have showed me man can be extremely intelligent people with feet well stuck on the ground (which I greatly admire), that they are not constantly thinking about how to fool women into having sex with them, that they are great fathers capable of raising wonderful children, and generally, that they are just average Joes casually leading their lives, trying to find a way to fulfill their dreams.
All these four guys I am thinking about today are very average. But in my world they are four heroes. And while they read their books, look after their kids, play their video games, listen to their metal, go out doing their Christmas shopping, do their IT work, raise astonishing little girls who will turn into wonderful women, have wild nights with their buddies, walk around casually in the street making the ladies notice them, while they just go on about their lives without stopping to think how special they are, I will be here thinking how lucky I was to have them in my life.
You are wonderful! All four of you!
Life with a capital L 